Explore how you think you have committed to your spouse with your spouse:
Get a pen and paper, both you and your spouse spend 5 to 10 minutes writing out your answers to the above questions.
No talking to your spouse as you do this.
Trade papers with your spouse and spend 5 minutes explaining your answers.
What did you commit to?
What did you commit to when marrying your spouse?
Think about that for a few minutes, consider all you committed to:
- What do you remember from your vows?
- What do you think you should have committed to?
- How committed do you feel to your spouse?
- Answer the question the way that seems right to you:
- Doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, loving your mother-in-law, taking care of each other in sickness, making coffee in the morning, taking a shower everyday, etc.
- Consider what you think you committed to
What does the Bible say...
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Matthew 19:5-10 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." 7 They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
8 He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."
I am not quoting from Corinthians, I am not looking for the Biblical answer to "what you commit to in marriage". Yes, we know that God said when you marry you become one, and that Jesus said you should not get divorced. But what do you think you committed to?
Having made a previous marriage commitment before, I know that it is quite possible to not understand the commitment you have made:
- Regardless of knowing what you said at the alter
- Regardless of knowing some of what God's Word says
- Regardless of what we hear or think
- It is possible to not understand what commitment is
The definition of committment.
The act or an instance of committing, especially:
1. The act of referring a legislative bill to committee.
2. Official consignment, as to a prison or mental health facility.
3. A court order authorizing consignment to a prison.
4. A pledge to do.
5. Something pledged, especially an engagement by contract involving financial obligation.
The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons: a deep commitment to liberal policies; a profound commitment to the family.
Your commitment to your spouse must be more than just to love and to not get divorced. Your commitment needs to be to your marriage (as in Ephesians 5:22-33).
That means you need to be committed to:
- protecting your marriage
- strengthening your marriage
- fixing what is wrong in your marriage
- You can not only be committed to not getting divorced
Focus question: what idea of commitment did you have that was wrong?
To improve your marriage consider joining a couple's Bible Study. Make a commitment to improving your marriage, to protecting it, and to fixing what is wrong in your marriage.