Worry Easter Sunday Failure Given All We Need

Being a Christian in 2021

What's it like to be a Christian in 2021?
This is an interview I did on 1/16/2021 with a friend "Pete".

Pete:
What do you think about all the political turmoil happening in our country now?

Me:
That's a good question, I might see things a bit different than others. Probably a lot different than my Christian conservative republican friends. I grew up in the 60s and 70s and one thing I think we can all agree on is our culture, our country is a lot different than it was then. It is a different country, a completely different country with different priorities, values and beliefs.

You mean the US is not the US anymore?

Me:
Yes, the country I grew up in is not the country I live in now. It has changed radically. It's not "my" country anymore. It's like living in a different country, have you ever lived in a different country?

Pete:
No, visited some for a few weeks but never lived their full-time.

Me:
I am lucky, I got to live in Hungary for 7 years. The people were very gracious with me.

My wife went over before I did and she told me everything was different there. The first night I arrived in Hungary I spent the night in a hotel in Budapest. When I woke in the morning, the first thing I did was look at everything in the room. She was right, Everything was different. The ceiling light, the light switches, the power-plugs, the door, the door handle, the door threshold, the curtains, the bed, the bedspread/covers, the pillow covers, the lamps, dresser, the flooring, the wall texture, the windows, everything except the drawer handles, those looked a little familiar. But my entire experience in Hungary was all different, the money was different, the language, I didn't know how to ride the bus, the metro, the trolly cars, even how to call someone on the phone. But for the entire 7 years I was there almost every signle person was gracious with me.

That is how I feel in the US now. It's not the same country, not my country, but for the most part people are gracious to me.

Pete:
So you really feel like you are living in a different country?

Me:
Yes I know I am. I know this isn't the same country. It has changed and is still changing quickly. I don't base that on what the media says, or what I read on social media. There are two things that have convinced me that this is not the same country, the way people vote and some public meetings.

First, the things people vote for now would never have passed in the 60s or 70s. The candidates they vote for but mostly the regulations/propositions they vote for. "My" generation would not accept these things. But they pass because the culture is completely different now. The culture and country has changed. I think we can all agree on that. For better and for worse, it is not the same.

Second, public meetings: There is a recent movement across our country to sexualize our children through a new sex-ed curriculum. The curriculum is an astounding change from what used to be acceptable. The school boards are holding public meetings on this curriculum change and the parents are not attending the meetings to voice concerns. The only reason I can think of is either they agree, or they don't care. I think it's the latter. But in the 60s and 70s parents would have never tolerated teaching kids so young about anal and oral sex. Now parents don't seem to care. Which is also why I think our schools have decided they must become so much more involved in raising our kids because evidently we don't really care that much.

That is just one example of what our culture and society are actually doing as far as public meetings go.

Pete:
Do you think that's because people have lost hope in being able to change things?

Me:
Well, not when it comes to our kids. In the 60s and 70s parents would have taken action for the kids, in fact they did. But keep in mind, people are voting for things that would have been considered wrong in the 60s and 70s. So we see people actively choosing things that are completely different than then.

My point is those things tell me the culture and country has changed.

For me this didn't become crystal clear to me until 2018 or so. That was when I realized I am a guest in a different country, it actually isn't what I thought America was. So for me that started a grieving process of the loss of "my" country. Now when I see the flag it doesn't represent the same country that I grew up in.

Pete:
Speaking of flags, what do you think about the Trumpers waving the American flag?

Me:
That doesn't make much sense to me. With all their conspiracy theories they are destroying the US, it's like they are actually traitors in some way but are using the American flag to represent their attempted overthrow of our government. That make no sense to me at all, Unless they are using the American flag to represent a country that doesn't exist anymore.

Pete:
What ARE you talking about?

Me:
Well, lets just imagine that in the 90s the US came up with a new flag. One that had a rainbow stripe in it. That rainbow stripe represented inclusivity. Not just the entire gay spectrum but also any illegal alien that made it into the US. Let's say that flag became the new national flag demonstrating that our country is accepting of everyone. If that became our new flag and the pro-trumpers started using our old, pre-1990s flag, that would make sense.

But I don't know why they are using the flag as their representation. It makes no sense to me.

Pete:
Okay, but what does all that have to do with how you are handling all the political turmoil?

Me:
Well yes, I guess that's not that clear. It seems there are two lines of possible thought in our country:
1) Our culture is being misled and we can somehow magically get new laws or somehow overthrow everything and get back to the culture we used to have.
OR
2) That country is gone, we have a new culture that the majority of people already agree with.

For me, based on how people vote and actual interactions people have with our governing bodies (or don't have), the culture has changed. The people of the US have chosen this new culture, voted in this new culture, agreed to the laws and changes in our country. The US is now what the majority of the people in the US want. It is the culture they want. The old culture is gone.

I 100% believe that old culture, the country I grew up in, is gone. We don't get it back. It died. I went through the grieving process, I denied it, was angry, tried to rationalize it, was pretty depressed about the entire thing, but now I accept it. Just exactly like when my Dad died. I still miss him, and it's still not okay that he died, and life was truly better when he was here. But he died and is gone. I accept that.

It's a new reality, in my opinion there is much wrong with this new country. But it's what our culture wants. The old one is dead, I have grieved the loss and I accept that I am living in a new country, and just like Hungary most people in this new country are gracious to me.

So you have given up? You don't think it's worth trying for changes?

Me:
Great question, that's not what I see happening in our country from the alt right and Christian conservatives. What they are trying to accomplish is not going to happen. The majority of Americans believe in this new culture/country. They voted it in through many years of propositions and candidates. A small band of alt right conspiracy theorists are not going to change the country back. That ship has sailed. It's not the media leading people astray. People have consciously made many decisions that have resulted in our new culture.

In a way I have given up. I am no longer in denial about this being a different country, I no longer believe we can change the entire culture (or even a majority of it) to believe as we did in the 60s and 70s. I do think we can have an influence on the culture. Mostly through the church, through Jesus.

Pete:
So you think the Christians that are pro-trumpers are right?

Me:
So many Christian leaders and churches are espousing conspiracy theories and working against our country that I think we are rapidly losing our voice.

Pete:
What?

Me:
Yes, you have seen the social media posts, the pastors saying and posting things that are untrue. We have leading pastors encouraging their congregations towards revolting and propagating conspiracy theories that are leading people astray. All this is for issues that are not even biblical. This is not what Jesus would do, nor what He did. What the people of His day wanted him to be was the messiah that would overturn the country and make the politics right. He tried to make it clear that His Kingdom was not here. Jesus resisted all efforts to try to get him involved in politics.

What we are seeing now, and I believe will continue to grow, is that the agnostics in our culture are losing patience with the church. As a Christian I see our political clout diminishing. Partly because our numbers are decreasing and partly because not enough of us Christians vote. So to survive the real political attacks that will be coming against the church we need the support of the middle of the road, agnostic Americans. But right now because of the Church's pointless battles with government agencies over the virus lock-downs we are alienating the portion of the public we need on our side.

Then you add to that church leaders propagating conspiracy theories that the middle-of-the-road American knows to be untrue we are losing even more agnostic supporters. The Church is killing the support we need through fruitless and pointless controversies now.

Once our opposing political action committees start coming after us in a real way, trying to shut down our church services or censor our sermons or silence normal Bible teaching we'll need more political clout than we have. We'll need some non-church going, agnostic Americans to side with us. That is not going to happen if we drive them away with our anti-mask, anti-government actions. Which is exactly what we are seeing now.

Pete:
Can you give me an example?

Me:
Sure, a church near me had a tree lighting ceremony. Everyone from the church gathered near this huge tree which is right on the main road of our town. This church is fully anti-mask. So the church gathered in front of the tree, not a masked person in sight. So all the people driving by saw this large crowd of people, all standing close together. The next day Social media was blowing up with comments about how reckless and disrespectful this was.

Then there are at least 2 churches in California that are revolting against their region's mask policy. They have accrued huge fines but continue to contradict the government bodies there. The message that sends to the un-churched is that the Christians only care about themselves, or the money they get from their congregations.

Also, the church that had the tree lighting ceremony finally had to quit live services because their anti-mask policy finally got so many people sick they decided to close and do online only for awhile.

These sort of things are going on across the country so more and more agnostics are seeing how the church is behaving and they are losing their sympathy for the church. Politically speaking, we need that group to support us much more than they need our political support.

Pete:
You mentioned denial. do you think the pro-trumpers are in denial? That they see the loss of culture but are stuck in the denial phase of grief?

Me:
I am absolutely convinced of it. I think those that are more emotionally intelligent will eventually move on to the other stages of grief. But for now they are stuck in anger and denial. Look, this is a big loss, I totally understand that. I think a combination of the virus and the racial protests last year, the liberal government leaders refusal to stop the rioting, I think all that has made it crystal clear to everyone that our old country is gone. I think we all get that this is a big change for our country and to many, that is a big loss. For many of us the recognition that we have lost "our" culture, "our" country is devasting.

But more than that I think they have chosen conspiracy theories as their "therapy".

Pete:
How so?

Me:
Imagine that your Dad died, and after that you found yourself getting more and more angry. First you deny or rationalize it by telling yourself that there is a lot to be angry about. But then as your anger grew to be more of a problem you decided you needed some help with that. You contact a counselor that helps you work through the stages of grief over the loss of your father. That counselor recommends a course of therapy that gets you to move past the anger and denial stages and move on to acceptance. That is therapy.

But that isn't your only option for "therapy". You could choose to use alcohol or drugs to help you "relax" at night and get some relief from your anger. It would make the anger more manageable.

Pete:
That's not actually going to help.

Me:
Yes that's true, but it is a form of therapy in that it is a way to help you cope. It's destructive and counterproductive but it is a method of therapy.

But there is another form of therapy you could choose. Conspiracy theories. You buy into reasons to be angry, to justify your anger. Yes, that's not good nor helpful therapy, but it is a way to cope. But you also get another benefit of buying into the fantasies of conspiracy theories. You get something that helps you cope with your "victim status". If you feel like life has treated you poorly then a conspiracy theory can help you believe that it's not your fault. Conspiracy theories can help you shift from taking personal responsibility for your life to finding someone else to blame for what brought you to your current life circumstances.

So for the emotionally unintelligent there is a powerful draw to conspiracy theories:
1) Justification for your anger.
2) An excuse for your feeling of victimhood.
3) A way to strike back at your enemies.

Pete:
How do conspiracy theories allow you to strike back at your enemies?

Me:
I have seen pastors and others do this on social media. They post things that are obviously untrue. The only reason I could think they would do that is becasue they think the "left-leaning" media is drawing people away from what is right. They think taking on the media (and liberals) is an overwhelming task, they think that both are lying to people, so to combat the media and liberals they use dishonest tools to fight back.

Pete:
What?

Me:
So if you think that liberals and the media are leading people to believe and do things that they wouldn't ordinarly do, and if you thought both the liberals and media were much more powerful than you, and you felt a desperate need to fight back against them both, you would use any tools you had to do that. I would have thought that pastors would only use the truth to try to combat these things. But I believe they think the "other side" is using lies and deceipt so that means they can too. Or maybe they feel they have to post things that are untrue because it is for the "greater good".

Pete:
Are you sure they don't actually believe the things they are posting?

Me:
I did at first. But as I checked more into the things they were posting, did my own fact checking, it is super obvious that they didn't even do basic research into what they were saying.

Pete:
Such as?

Me:
Gun control in Chicago, motorcycle gangs going to Washington, attacks that will happen in 48 hours. Each of those took mere moments of research to prove they were false.

Pete:
So you are saying pastors, and others, think they are fighting back against liberals and the media by engaging in misleading and deceptive posts because they think it's their only option and because they think the other side is doing the same?

Me:
Yes. The experts say we make our decisions emotionally. So if you are really angry about what you see happening in our country, and you see a post on Facebook that seems to run contrary to what is happening you make the decision to share it as a weapon against the other side. That decision is not made logically but emotionally. That explains why someone would post something 180 degrees from the truth about gun control in Chicago. If logic played into their decision to post that they would have checked the facts first.

So how does it feel being a Christian conservative republican in 2021?

Me:
Very embarrassing. I was thinking I shouldn't tell people I am a republican. In fact I am thinking of changing to independent, that makes a lot of sense because there are a lot of republican platform issues I don't agree with, and a lot of democratic ones I do agree with. So maybe I'll become an independent.

I am embarrassed to say I am a conservative. It really seems like "conservative" is quickly becoming completely linked to "conspiracy". So I probably won't be telling people that anymore.

But I think I am most embarrassed to say I am a Christian. Which is strange because it is the label that best describes me. I am more Christian than anything else. But as I watch so many Christians do and say things that are so completely untrue, seditious, and appalling I am more embarrassed of us than I have ever been in my life. Can you imagine trying to talk to a liberal about Jesus now?

Pete:
Wow, hadn't thought of that, but you are right. They are going to quickly equate you to a raving conspiracy theorist that promotes all kinds of untruths. You have been discredited as soon as you mention Jesus.

Me:
Good point, I didn't think it through that much. You are right, we are being discredited. So Christians, and pastor/leaders are now doing the very worst thing anyone has done in my lifetime to make it difficult to talk about Jesus with a non-believer.

What do you think the solution is?

Me:
As I said earlier I think some of the more emotionally intelligent Christians and conservatives will eventually work through the stages of grief, and come to acceptance of all we have lost. But just like people we know that get stuck in the anger stage, like some divorcees, some of these conspiracy people will stay there.

I was disappointed when Biden made his first priority the Corona Virus. This division in our country is no doubt the most important problem we face. I would have thought creating a large committee and putting together a task force to work on healing our nation would have been the number one priority. But there has been no mention of that.

Towards the end of 2020 I was predicting that by the 3rd quarter of 2021 we'd all be longing for the simple days of 2020 when all we had to be concerned with is the virus. I was thinking far worse things are coming because of Trump and what he has started that can't be stopped by a regime change. All of that is unfolding at a much more rapid rate than I thought.

Many studies have shown you can't combat conspiracy theories with facts, nor with arguments. I totally believe that is because of two factors, because they are "therapy" for the people that hold them and because of motivated, dissonance reasoning. We are not rational creators, as Dale Carnegie pointed out.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

So the solution needs to be a national effort. I don't think we have an organization big enough to take this on except the federal government. But I do think things could calm down after awhile. I seriously doubt that will solve the issue. People will stay angry but just be a bit more quite about it until something else comes along, like another Trump, to get them riled up again. So I can't see any good solution other than a large national effort to combat all these conspiracy theories and heal our nation.

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