So, Where Do I Go From Here?

After all the work of mentally and emotionally sorting out all the re-entry things, what do I do with it all?

I am still not 100% sure. But three people really helped bring it all into focus for me. Two of them read all four of these articles.

My best friend talked to me about my article "Was I Listening". He pointed out how insane it is to ignore God's plan for your life, then blame Him when things don't go as well as you expected.

At the time mentioned in that article, it seemed impossible to believe God had a better plan. That never crossed my mind, I felt so strongly about staying that I never considered other options.

When I got off the phone with my friend I could almost sense God saying, in a resigned tone of voice, "Yeah, this isn't quite what I had planned for you."

That concept makes total sense to me now, if God has a great plan for your life and you choose to not follow it, things are not going to work as well as they could have. I get it. It's nobody's fault by mine.

My mom pointed out that Jesus said the greatest commandment was to love God with all you have. Somehow I had missed the fact that this is a command. It is an order, like a job assignment. The strange thing is it seems like the only job assignment I have been given right now.

But somehow I didn't realize I had an assignment, a "job" to do. But when mom mentioned this I realized I do have an assignment, and that is it. Love God. So that is what I am going to do.

At the same time my pastor pointed out that all the "fruits of the Spirit" are things brought about by our relationship with God and the Holy Spirit. Those are not things we are supposed to try to do. The focus is not on our effort to do those things. The focus is by keeping God in the center of our lives, all those things happen to us. We don't get them by trying harder, we get them by staying close to God.

So, I understand what my current assignment is. I seem to have some sense of understanding of why it is my current assignment. I understand why it should have always been my top priority. I understand how I got here, why I got here and I know God will use all the choices I have made for His glory somehow.

I am just happy to have a new assignment.